Blackwood Gazette

Blackwood Gazette #193- Pierre Fordeau Seeks Protective Custody After Finding Disturbing Package on His Doorstep

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Alex Grosset, Arts and Entertainment

23/9– Author Pierre Fordeau, who recently published the memoir “Impossible Hearts in Forgotten Lands”, recently approached law enforcement in Sau Anoit to apply for protective custody. The petition is said to have stemmed from the arrival of a mysterious package found on his doorstep.

“The package was very disturbing, indeed,” said Inspector Jean Donponte. “It contained a variety of what can best be described as fetishes, small dolls and artifacts made out of bone, animal sinew, and hair. Fordeau claims the hair is his, but our men in forensics say the hair is likely from a Djidanni red ape.”

In the report, Fordeau claims the package is meant to be a threat from the Pirate Queen Seylene Plamondon, but Inspector Donponte isn’t convinced.

“The more likely scenario I think is the package came from one of his fans,” the inspector said. “You know how those sorts can be…they read something like Plamondon’s reaction to his book and they use it as an in-roads of sorts, to place themselves into the lives of the people they, for lack of a better word, ‘love’.

“This is probably just someone screwing with Fordeau; I highly doubt Seylene Plamondon made her way up to Sau Anoit from the Pyros Ocean just to leave a shoebox on someone’s doorstep. No, she likely would have burned his apartment to the ground, and the surrounding block as well, just to be sure. Still, we’ve granted Fordeau his application, both for his ease of mind and because whoever did leave the package is clearly a nutter.”

No word on where Fordeau will be moved to (as is expected), or for how long. However, it is said that along with his application was a list of demands, including a new typewriter and ‘adequately luxurious furnishings’, as well as a constantly supplied bowl of Sweety Beets®, with the red ones removed.

Blackwood Gazette #193- Pierre Fordeau Seeks Protective Custody After Finding Disturbing Package on His Doorstep

Blackwood Gazette # 191- Von Grimm Associate Klaus Klaudhopper Captured; Reveals Von Grimm Never Entered the Territories at All

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By Maurice Merchant, Editor in Chief

18/9- A disturbing new report from the Colonial Marshals suggests that everything leading up to current tensions between Triumvirate colonials and the native peoples of the Newlands has been a lie.

Klaus Klaudhopper, a twenty two year old veteran of Crowndon’s Air Corps and ex-patriate from the nation of Rommsbach, was captured almost two weeks ago near a Marshals’ outpost fifty miles east of Fort Faulkner. Klaudhopper has several arrest warrants to his name, most notably for the murder of an Oligarch’s son in Rommsbach.

As reported last year by Adella Chatelaine, Klaudhopper was at some point being pursued by the Bandit leader Doctor Argyle Von Grimm. During his questioning, Marshals asked him about this incident.

Klaudhopper revealed that he’d been pressed into working for Von Grimm for several jobs. One of these jobs was the theft of the dragonfly aircraft used against Marshal forces during the siege of Fort Winstone.

Even more, Klaudhopper revealed that he was forced to pilot one of the planes, and that he in fact was the pilot of the plane that was discovered crashed along the Plasty Meridian in the spring. According to Klaudhopper, he’d been trying to escape, and the other pilot had shot him down.

To add insult to injury, Klaudhopper claims that Von Grimm never crossed the Meridian, and that the Bandit leader’s plan had been instead to skirt along the southern border with the Deadlands, heading east toward the ocean and a waiting ship.

If Klaudhopper’s testimony is true, then it would appear that the Colonial military forces’ attempts to gain entrance into the Territories has been for naught, and that the colonies’ current hostilities with the Territorial peoples’ is the result of a tragic mistake.

As for Klaus Klaudhopper, it would seem that he will elude justice once again. He escaped shortly after his testimony was given, in a manner almost identical to that in which he escaped during a brief detainment last year. In both instances it is believed he was aided by an accomplice, a tall woman with dark hair known believed to be named ‘Arufina’. (Perhaps unrelated, but this description matches that of the mysterious rifle-woman seen during the Point Hammond shoot out. Point Hammond is a mere four day ride from Fort Faulkner). As a result, the already considerable bounty on his head has been increased three fold, for an identifiable dead body.

Klaus_Mugshot2***

Author’s note: A version of today’s image originally appeared in this post. I wanted to update it somewhat, to explore the idea of wanted posters as a form of propaganda, or perhaps convey the idea that some joker had come along and defaced an existing poster.

Blackwood Gazette # 191- Von Grimm Associate Klaus Klaudhopper Captured; Reveals Von Grimm Never Entered the Territories at All

Blackwood Gazette #190- Tense Gunfight Between Pixie Sinclaire and Several Unidentified Parties Leaves Point Hammond in Shambles

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By Maurice Merchant, Editor in Chief

16/9-Nor Eastern agent provocateur Pixie Sinclaire continues to make waves in the Colonies, as she found herself involved with a stunning outbreak of violence in the town of Point Hammond earlier this week.

Point Hammond was the last point of contact for the ill-fated Lelina Expedition, and Miss Sinclaire’s search led her to the town (which was ordered evacuated five months ago, though many citizens refused to leave). Miss Sinclaire is said to have been seen walking down the town’s main thoroughfare, asking for any information about the expedition amongst the town’s remaining citizens.

Miss Sinclaire had just exited a local feed store when several shots rang out. Witnesses say that the shots were directed at Sinclaire.

“She’d just walked out of Masterson’s,” said 52 year old James Warner. “I remember taking notice of her, because she was a stranger, and that red hair stands out around here. Anyway, shots rang out and the street muck around her starts spraying up. I didn’t see anything else, because I got the hell out of there.”

Another witness, a bar maid watching from the second story of the local saloon, saw what happened next.

“The ginger wasn’t hit, I don’t think,” the bar maid, named Alice, said. “She didn’t panic either. Just dove right into a nearby alley, like it was the most natural thing in the world. I was terrified, myself, but I didn’t hide. I couldn’t stop watching.

“After she ducked for cover, and the people on the street had scattered, a bunch of people dressed all in black rushed out into the street. They all had these weird guns I’d never seen the likes of before.

“They went right for that alley the ginger ran into. They covered it with their guns. Of a sudden, I heard a BANG! In the alley. Things went deathly silent for a bit, and the guys in black, they all stopped. Then this body comes flying out of the alley, all dressed in black, like them. Then four more shots, BANG BANG BANG BANG! Come out of the alley, and four of the guys in the street fall down, clutching their legs and arms. That’s when the rest of them rushed the alley.

“I thought the ginger might be done for, when more shots rang out. They were really loud, because they were coming from the roof right above my head. That’s when I looked up and saw this second woman with a rifle.

“She was a giant, 7 foot if she was an inch, with long black hair blowing in the wind. The Black Suits turned around, but she took out about four of them before they could figure where she was coming from. They started shooting at the saloon, and that was the limit of my taste for the spectacle, as I ran inside and huddled down in the hallway with my friend Gertie.”

Various reports from other witnesses offer only a sporadic view of events. Many don’t mention the second, unidentified woman with the rifle, though one unsubstantiated report claims that in addition to engaging the men in black uniforms, she also fired rounds at Miss Sinclaire whenever she deigned to emerge from the cover of the buildings.

Eventually, it is said that Miss Sinclaire fled south, into the woods around the town, while the remaining men in black uniforms fled north on horseback, but not before collecting their wounded and dead. At least one report claims that Sinclaire appeared to be clutching her side. A nearby platoon of Colonial Marshals searched for the group, but found no trace of them, nor of the rifle-woman, nor of Pixie Sinclaire.

“Damnedest thing ever,” said the Marshals’ platoon leader. “The only evidence that anything happened are that people said it happened and a few bullet holes in the buildings. It’s like everyone involved just up and disappeared into the ether.”

Blackwood Gazette #190- Tense Gunfight Between Pixie Sinclaire and Several Unidentified Parties Leaves Point Hammond in Shambles

Blackwood Gazette #188- Rinkenbach R&D Issues Recall on Clockwork Butler

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By Ada Herschel, Science and Technology

12/9- After several weeks of complaints and numerous reports of disturbing behavior, Rinkenbach R&D has finally issued a recall on the newest model of its popular Clockwork Butler. The recall comes on the heels of an incident involving one of the Butlers walking along the outer wall of a school in Sau Anoit, holding a spray can full of pesticides and saying something about the city being overrun with tiny narcissistic primates with no sense of self control.

“I noticed the automaton upon my arrival at the school that morning,” said the unnamed school’s headmaster. “I approached it with the hope of finding a serial number. Imagine my horror when I discovered the thing could talk, and my even deeper horror when I realized what it was saying.”

Police were called in and they promptly dismantled the machine. Officers on site say the Butler continued spouting its nonsense until they smashed its voice box. The police report was sent to Rinkenbach R&D, who then promptly issued the recall.

“We take this matter very seriously,” said Luca Deruso, acting head of RR&D in place of Rigel Rinkenbach. “After this incident, and two others in which the Butlers seemed to threaten the safety of their owners, we can no longer overlook the problem.”

When asked what could be causing the strange behavior, Deruso gave a vague, but frightening, explanation.

“All we can say at this time is that the Butlers were installed with a new proprietary chip that Sir Rigel was developing. He didn’t have it earmarked for use with the butler, but when installed the automatons seemed to take on Sir Rigel’s personality. We decided that would make an interesting selling point, though we must admit we have no idea where Rinkenbach got the idea, nor how he was able to concoct such a thing in the first place.”

We reached out to the Royal Palace for a statement from Sir Rigel Rinkenbach himself, but were declined.

Blackwood Gazette #188- Rinkenbach R&D Issues Recall on Clockwork Butler

Blackwood Gazette #187- Alchemy Student Arrested After Parlor Trick Goes Horribly Awry

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By Basilio Mura, Nor Easter Correspondent

9/9- A 22 year old student of the Academic Alliance of Alchemists and Alliterators named Prideau ‘Priddy’ Lacerte has been jailed tonight, after a botched alchemy demonstration brought a showing of Delando’s latest play to an abrupt and messy end.

Witnesses say that Lacerte was attempting a common parlor trick known as Kettleman’s Arc, in which two elements are rubbed together on the fingers to produce a vibrant, sustained electric bolt. It’s one of the first things young Alchemists teach each other to do, and a relatively simple one at that by all accounts.

The demonstration went dreadfully wrong, however, when the elements Lacerte used instead produced a noxious gas that spread throughout the audience seats, inducing vomiting amongst many of the nearby patrons.

The theatre was evacuated, and while no one was injured or hurt (except maybe a few people’s pride) Lacerte was promptly arrested.

“I find it hard to believe it was an accident,” said the arresting officer. “Kettleman’s Arc is so simple even my five year old boy can do it. It should’ve been no problem for a student at the academy. What’s more is, there’s a name for what happened. It’s called Kettleman’s Arse…and in older text books the instructions are printed right below Kettleman’s Arc. We’re operating under the assumption that Lacerte was trying to pull some sort of prank, that he told people he would perform the Arc, pulling them in close before intentionally releasing the Arse for a laugh.”

On top of the lost revenue for the show, the Empress Theatre (recently rebuilt after a fire last year) will have to spend thousands on cleanup.

“The carpet in the aisle in completely ruined, as are about thirty of the seats,” said the theatre’s care taker. “It will all have to be replaced. Then there is the smell of the gas…it’s just lingering in there. The first appraisal man that went in came out retching. They had to go back in with filtration masks.”

Lacerte will be arraigned next week, and has been expelled from the Academy. Spencer Wendon, the Academy’s headmaster, commented.

“Either he intentionally induced mass vomiting at the Empress while representing the Academy, or he blundered the easiest trick in the book. Either way, he isn’t the sort we want affiliated with the Academy.”

Blackwood Gazette #187- Alchemy Student Arrested After Parlor Trick Goes Horribly Awry

Blackwood Gazette #186- Pixie Sinclaire Exposes Trafficking of Native Artifacts in Colonial Town

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By Chester Seaton, News

7/9-The Triumvirate colonies in the Newlands once again find themselves hanging on the edge of open conflict with the outer Territories this week, after it was revealed that a network of groups along the Miskaton river have been trafficking ancient native artifacts of profound spiritual importance to various third parties.

The network of smugglers was uncovered by none other than Nor Eastern intelligence agent Pixie Sinclaire.

“She’s been poking around for a week and a half, asking about that…reporter and sticking her freckled nose into everyone’s business,” said Dundry’s sheriff. “Eventually she sniffed out a pocket of these smugglers operating out of a warehouse by the river. The smugglers were smart enough to know how to appraise the value of the artifacts and categorize them, but they weren’t smart enough to lock up their documentation. Sinclaire found evidence of over a dozen other smuggling dens.”

According to the documents Sinclaire discovered, many of the artifacts had been sold to private collectors, including high ranking officials in the colonial government. But the biggest buyer seems to be a mysterious broker known only as “The Jaguar”.

“I really wish she’d brought the information to us, but instead she leaked the information to the press. Now we have citizens of native descent marching through the streets, demanding the heads of the smugglers and an explanation from the colonial governors.”

Upon breaking the news, the Council of Territorial Representatives issued a warning to the colonial government, demanding that all artifacts be recovered and returned to the sites from which they were taken. It seems, however, that in this area the smugglers were less diligent in their record keeping. Even more, the debacle has revealed that several of the sites in question were irreparably damaged or, in one case, completely destroyed.

“The whole thing is a mess,” said Governor Berclay Ancroft. “I’ve personally been in contact with the Councilmen, and they are deadly serious. When word of this crosses the Plasty Meridian, if it hasn’t already, I fear that when compounded with recent tensions it will lead to a full out conflict.”

The government of the colonies is currently scrambling for a way to avoid the fallout of this scandal. Pixie Sinclaire was unavailable for comment, and her method of releasing the information is said to have colonial officers incensed, with many calling for her immediate arrest. The Governor of the Province of Bly has even suggested the whole thing is a Nor Eastern plot to sew unrest in the colonies and demanded statement from Empress Marcellete Bastian.

The Council of Territorial Representatives refused our requests for interview.

Blackwood Gazette #186- Pixie Sinclaire Exposes Trafficking of Native Artifacts in Colonial Town

Blackwood Gazette #185- Oeil de Fleur: “After a Month in Custody, Rinkenbach is Fine. Mostly.”

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By Basilio Mura, Nor Eastern Correspondent

4/9- Ever since a raving lunatic claiming to be Rigel Rinkenbach was detained outside of Rinkenbach R&D early last month, the Royal Palace in Oeil de Fleur has been silent about the matter. While many believed the man was indeed the wayward inventor, his identity hadn’t been confirmed, until now.

“The man we detained last month is indeed Sir Rigel Rinkenbach,” said a spokesperson with the Palace. “Physically speaking, he is fine. Mentally, however…we aren’t so sure. The Empress tells us that his behavior is mostly normal, if a little more erratic than usual.”
A doctor who has been observing Rinkenbach added clarification.

“Sir Rinkenbach has displayed signs of a nervous breakdown brought on by extreme stress,” psychologist Antonez Dupleur told us. “Since his detainment, he has given us all extensive lectures on alchemy, rambled incoherently about something he calls ‘extra-dimensional cellular atrophy’, and expressed great concern over Miss Pixie Sinclaire, the agent provocateur currently searching for one of your missing reporters and a former paramour of Sir Rinkenbach, I’m led to believe. The Empress was most displeased about this.

“In the month since his detainment, however, he’s shown great improvement. Mostly. He expressed a wish for a lab, which I signed off on, hoping that a familiar setting would put him at ease. He also demanded a new owl, so we got him an owl. Except that it was the wrong kind of owl, so we had to get him another, but he took a liking for the first owl and wouldn’t let us take it away. So now they’re both down there, being ignored while Rinkenbach toils away on some project or another.”

While Rinkenbach has supposedly calmed down over the course of his stay at the palace, Doctor Dupleur is not yet willing to sign off on his release, and the Palace has yet to determine when, if ever, Rinkenbach R&D’s status as a private business will be restored.”

“While the Empress has a great affection for Rinkenbach, even she cannot deny the many and profound debts that the company has incurred over the years,” the spokesperson said. “Debts that have only grown larger since the failure of his newest product and nervous breakdown. No, I’m afraid that mister Rinkenbach will be a guest of the Royal Palace for quite some time.”

Blackwood Gazette #185- Oeil de Fleur: “After a Month in Custody, Rinkenbach is Fine. Mostly.”

Blackwood Gazette #184- Julianos Unleashes New Squadron of Ace Pilots Against Dougherty Rebels

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By Isairo Palantes, Monteddor Correspondent

2/9- After several devastating defeats at the hands of Dougherty’s rebel movement, the Monteddorian military scored a decisive victory this weekend in the skies above Salasan.
After receiving reports that five of Dougherty’s captured Dragonfly fighter planes had been spotted in the area, the 2nd Monteddorian Air Squadron, nicknamed the “Flying Panthers” to denote their loyalty to Alejandro Julianos, took to the skies and destroyed the scouting party. Witnesses on the ground say the fight was brutal.

“They lived up to their name, that’s for sure,” said a farmer, who was tending his field when the fight went down. “One minute, there’s just these five planes flying low, like nobody’s business. The next, these ‘Flying Panthers’ as you call them came swooping out of the sky firing their guns. The whole thing should have been over with right there, but the Panthers weren’t shooting to kill. First, they crippled the planes. Then they took turns ripping them to shreds.”

The squadron is commanded by captain Anassia Degadas. A veteran of fifteen years, she was personally tasked by Julianos with putting the squadron together in response to Dougherty’s recent attacks.

“When the high military commander of Monteddor asks you to do something, you do it quick and you do it right,” Degadas told us. “So that’s what I did, hand picking the best pilots I’d worked with over my career. There was still a lot of training to do, what with the concept of these fighters being such a new one and all, but they took to it like true birds.”

When asked about the supposed brutality of the fight, Degada says she wanted to send a message.

“I want Dougherty to know who we are, and what we are capable of,” she says. “I want her to know that my pilots are out there, looking for hers. And I want her to know that she’ll never see us coming. Her moment in the skies is over. These are MY skies, and any trespasser will be picked apart by the claws of the Flying Panthers.”

**

Author’s note: Sorry for the recent irregularity of my posts, guys. I work in retail, and my hours have started getting crazy lately as the heavy release season starts, and are likely to get crazier the closer we get to the holidays.

Also, every now and then I look at a headline I have coming up and find that I’ve already covered that particular topic or development in another post, and that leaves me scrambling to come up with something new. I try to plan ahead, and I still have about twenty headlines left in the hopper, so that makes things easier.  I’m also working on revising a short story, so that cuts into my writing time as well. On top of that, I want to go back and revise the Gazette up to this point to clean up any errors that may have cropped up over the course of the last year and a half (there’s a bunch), and maybe release it as a compilation (either for free, or for a very low price…I’ll gladly consider any input from others who’ve done this before).

But stay tuned! The road to Gazette #200 is sure to be a twisty-turny one, indeed!

Blackwood Gazette #184- Julianos Unleashes New Squadron of Ace Pilots Against Dougherty Rebels

Blackwood Gazette #183- World Leaders Call for Summit to Discuss Appearance of Advanced Weapons Being Used by Rebel Movements

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By Chester Seaton, News

28/8- The Thankaen Coup. The Ganborran Uprising. The Plasty Meridian Crisis. The attempted assassination of New Crowndon Governor Ancroft. All of these incidents, despite being otherwise unrelated, have one common thread: in each case, the aggressors involved used highly advanced, semi-automatic rifles of unknown make or origin. While not necessarily a new technology, semi-automatic weapons have up to this point been a rarity, due either to pricing or the outright restriction of their manufacturing and sale by the governments involved.

“The sudden appearance of these weapons in the hands of dissidents around the globe is alarming,” said Lord General Johnathan Gorsky, the supreme commander of Crowndon’s military and one of its highest ranking oligarchs. “In many cases, the military units facing these weapons are still using flint- or even matchlock muskets. That such large quantities of these weapons could be manufactured without someone noting the diversion of resources and shipped to all corners of the globe while slipping past inspection pickets could potentially tip the scales of global power if unchecked, and is cause for everyone to worry, be it the colonies or Sarnwain or even the Triumvirate itself.”

In response to this growing crisis, Lord General Gorsky has called for a gathering of world leaders, including himself, the Nor Eastern Empress Marcellette Bastian, the Monteddorian High King Mario Adallantes, and Alejandro Julianos. Representatives from the Triumvirate colonies and the Sarnwainian Kingdoms are expected to attend as well.

“The aim of the summit will be founding a unified focus on the manufacturing and supply of these weapons,” the Lord General said. “We will take stock of current evidence and hopefully be able to follow the chain right to whomever is making these rifles.”

We asked Lord General Gorsky what he thought of the current leading theory, that the infamous bandit leader and Mad Mechanist, Doctor Argyle Von Grimm, was the instigator in this crisis.

“I can only theorize,” said Gorsky. “So don’t quote this as fact, but I believe Von Grimm, if involved, is merely one link in a chain being pulled by something, or someone, much larger and nefarious. However, I do not believe him to be the mastermind.”

The summit is expected to be held sometime next month, at an undisclosed, neutral location.

Blackwood Gazette #183- World Leaders Call for Summit to Discuss Appearance of Advanced Weapons Being Used by Rebel Movements

Blackwood Gazette #182- Theater Goers Protesting Venues Showing Film Version of “Dek Kanar Redak”

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By Alex Grosset, Arts and Entertainment

27/8- Delando’s newest artistic endeavor, a film version of his play ‘Desires of Dek Kanar Redak’, continues its downward spiral into controversy this week as theater goers have taken to KV parlors and other venues showing the film across Nor Easter to protest the film.

“There’s so much wrong with this piece, I’m not even sure where to begin,” said noted critic and expert in theatrical arts Pezzarra Belafonte. “It’s uncomfortable, it’s over-priced, and the silent nature of the films means you cannot experience the emotions of the performers’ voices. On top of that, the quality of the film itself is atrocious.”

Belafonte has spent the last month organizing the protest, coordinating with other critics around the Empire.

“It has been a most stressful endeavor,” said Belafonte. “But also a rewarding one, if we can prevent this new format from overtaking our beloved art form.”

Not all critics are behind Belafonte, however. Trestore Mariche, who lambasted the film, believes that the medium has potential, even if this particular one is a failure.

“Belafonte wants to cast film aside altogether, but I believe this is folly,” Mariche said. “It may be hard to see in ‘Redak’, but I believe that long-form and meaningful story telling might have a future with the right visionary behind it.

“’Dek Kanar Redak’s’ main issue is that Delando simply put a camera in front of the stage and filmed his performers; it’s literally just a play put to film. But imagine if the camera were put into the play itself! You could focus on a certain character while they speak, present the audience with close ups of their faces, or you could play with composition to emphasize a certain thematic element. You could intercut between two scenes at once for dramatic effect, or possibly even stage events that can’t be done on a set. Once you consider the possibilities, it blows open what can be done with drama.

“And who knows? Perhaps one day we could have a form of storytelling that actually invites the audience to direct the story themselves.”

Belafonte, when told of Mariche’s comments, simply snorted and said, “Preposterous. And dangerous. We’ve been doing it one way for centuries, and it works. We have no need to fix it! To say otherwise is…it’s preposterous, I say!”

Blackwood Gazette #182- Theater Goers Protesting Venues Showing Film Version of “Dek Kanar Redak”