Blackwood Gazette #188- Rinkenbach R&D Issues Recall on Clockwork Butler

By Ada Herschel, Science and Technology

12/9- After several weeks of complaints and numerous reports of disturbing behavior, Rinkenbach R&D has finally issued a recall on the newest model of its popular Clockwork Butler. The recall comes on the heels of an incident involving one of the Butlers walking along the outer wall of a school in Sau Anoit, holding a spray can full of pesticides and saying something about the city being overrun with tiny narcissistic primates with no sense of self control.

“I noticed the automaton upon my arrival at the school that morning,” said the unnamed school’s headmaster. “I approached it with the hope of finding a serial number. Imagine my horror when I discovered the thing could talk, and my even deeper horror when I realized what it was saying.”

Police were called in and they promptly dismantled the machine. Officers on site say the Butler continued spouting its nonsense until they smashed its voice box. The police report was sent to Rinkenbach R&D, who then promptly issued the recall.

“We take this matter very seriously,” said Luca Deruso, acting head of RR&D in place of Rigel Rinkenbach. “After this incident, and two others in which the Butlers seemed to threaten the safety of their owners, we can no longer overlook the problem.”

When asked what could be causing the strange behavior, Deruso gave a vague, but frightening, explanation.

“All we can say at this time is that the Butlers were installed with a new proprietary chip that Sir Rigel was developing. He didn’t have it earmarked for use with the butler, but when installed the automatons seemed to take on Sir Rigel’s personality. We decided that would make an interesting selling point, though we must admit we have no idea where Rinkenbach got the idea, nor how he was able to concoct such a thing in the first place.”

We reached out to the Royal Palace for a statement from Sir Rigel Rinkenbach himself, but were declined.

Blackwood Gazette #188- Rinkenbach R&D Issues Recall on Clockwork Butler

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