Blackwood Gazette#308-Crowndon Law Enforcement On High Alert After Would Be Vigilante Explodes in Skies Above Toring

26/3/283- The Toring Guard was in disarray late last week after a mysterious explosion occurred over the town’s central square. After a harrowing investigation, the guard claims to have the beginnings of a timeline.

Witnesses to the incident claim that in the seconds before the incident, they saw a ‘flying man’ streaking through the air, laughing maniacally. Some claim that he was screaming something about justice, but that a device on his back that looked something like a rocket drowned him out.

Another group of witnesses claim that, about five minutes before the explosion, they saw a man wearing welder’s goggles, heavy leather clothing, and a strange backpack assaulting a delivery boy on Cloover Street, about a kilometer from the square. Accounts about what this assailant said differ, but many claim that it was a long winded diatribe about crime and punishment. They say the man then disappeared into a nearby alley. When citizens tried to pursue him, a cloud of hot steam rushed out from the alley, scalding several bystanders. About 30 seconds later, the explosion over the central square occurred. The delivery boy in question has not been found for comment.

The incident has led to the central square being shut down and cordoned off pending further investigation, a move that will no doubt severely impact the city’s economy. The Toring Guard has also reportedly posted men on rooftops on lookout for other projectiles. They also refused to lend any official word on whether a man with a rocket pack was actually responsible for the incident.

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Blackwood Gazette#308-Crowndon Law Enforcement On High Alert After Would Be Vigilante Explodes in Skies Above Toring

Blackwood Gazette #307- Former Academy Member Arrested for Disaster Profiteering

7/3/283- Authorities report that former member of the Academic Alliance of Alchemists and Alliterators, Prideau “Priddy” Lacerte, has been arrested for attempting to profit from the recent reign of terror visited upon Oeil de Fleur by the escaped Ganborran Stink Monkey known as ‘Chirpy’.

The arrest came after reports that Lacerte was selling plush dolls of the pungent primate to children in the city’s eastern commons.

“He’d been at it for weeks, apparently,” the arresting officer told us. “People thought it was tasteless, but harmless enough. But then Lacerte had to go and get…ambitious.”

According to city watch officials, about a week ago, the Chirpy plushies began appearing with a new ‘feature’.

“One kid brought a plush home late last week. She ran up to her mother to show off the doll, hugged it, and, well…given Lacerte’s history, and the nature of the Chirpy incident, you can probably guess what happened next.”

The new model of plush is said to contain the same ingredients used in the Alchemical parlor trick known as ‘Kettleman’s Arse’, a trick that got Lacerte busted sometime back. When the child hugged the doll, it brought into contact the two substances that, when mixed, release a noxious cloud of foul smelling (but otherwise harmless) gas into the air.

“Lacerte claims the amount released should be small and dissipate quickly, but the entirety of the household had to be evacuated, and a cleaning crew brought in.”

Lacerte has been booked on charges of profiteering from a disaster, a charge second only to war profiteering with an expected sentence of exile from the Triumvirate. His remaining stock of Chirpy plushies is to be disposed of, and the city watch recommends that anyone who purchased one of the dolls should do the same.

As for the actual ‘Chirpy’, the malodorous monster remains at large.

Blackwood Gazette #307- Former Academy Member Arrested for Disaster Profiteering