retro-futurism

Blackwood Gazette # 13: Crowndon Capitulates to La Pierre, Gold Recovered, with a Catch

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CrowndonDeliversHaggis

20/5-After several days of debate, and increasing pressure from the citizens of Crowndon, the Imperial Air Corps agreed to Roderick La Pierre’s terms to exchange the wealth of Lower Crowndon for a pot of haggis.

“We cooked it up, just like he demanded,” Deputy Chief Arthur Collingsworth said. “We rendezvoused in the early morning hours over the Divide, and sent a single ship to deliver the foul smelling dish.”
Once the haggis was delivered, Collingsworth watched the exchange through a telescope from his cruiser, concealed in a nearby rock formation.

“The lunatic looked right at me,” Collingsworth said. “I watched in horror as he dumped the haggis over the side and gave me a lewd hand gesture. His entire crew then climbed up on deck and exposed their buttocks. I feared the whole operation had gone awry at that point, until he sent us a message via signal lamp.”

The message read: YOU DIDNA THINK I’D BE SO STUPID AS T’EAT ANYTHING YOU BOYS COOKED UP FOR ME, DID YA?

When we asked Collingsworth if he did lace the haggis with some sort of toxin, he denied to comment.

“In any case,” Collingsworth continued, “He then proceeded to send us the coordinates to the gold, one hundred leagues to the south, in a cave rigged to explode after a set amount of time. I wanted to pursue, but I had not dared to bring more than my cruiser. With no other ships in range, we needed to proceed to the site.”

And what did they find when they arrived?

“We found the gold, just like he said. It was buried under the two tons of tuna that started this whole mess. It had been sitting in that cave out in the desert for almost a month, rotting in the heat. The smell is nearly unbearable, and we have no idea how we’re going to sanitize the gold at this point. The real kick in the teeth was the lack of a bomb. Wiley bastard.”

The incident has left everyone in Crowndon wondering what La Pierre’s motivation behind all of this was.

“Don’t ask me,” Collingsworth said. “I’m convinced the man is a complete lunatic.”

Blackwood Gazette # 13: Crowndon Capitulates to La Pierre, Gold Recovered, with a Catch

Blackwood Gazette #12: Klankenvroot to Rinkenbach: “Let’s See Who Gets in the Air First.”

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RVK

15/5-A representative for Klankenvroot Industries issued a press release yesterday stating that plans to build the world’s first commercial Planar Wing Aircraft are proceeding ahead of schedule.

“We are half-way through the concepting stage,” said the representative. “None of you probably knows what that means. It pretty much means we’re halfway there.”

Not to make things too easy for Klankenvroot, however, long time rival and fellow industrialist Rigel Rinkenbach issued his own statement in response to Klankenvroot’s claims.

“His press release is complete and utter poppycock,” Rinkenbach said. “Sorry for the redundancy, my dear girl, but it bears repeating where Ivan is concerned. The man is a moron. I’m sure we here at Rinkenbach R&D could not only design such an aircraft before Klankenvroot, despite his head start, but we could build it and have it taking passengers halfway through a maiden voyage before he ever hits the factory floor to build a prototype, never mind an actual PWA.”

Klankenvroot was quick to respond, going so far as to rent out the entirety of the Empress Hotel in Oeil de Fleur for a press conference.

“Rinkenbach is still riding off past successes,” Klankenvroot said. “He thinks that just because he is the Father of Planar Wing Aviation–a title which is debatable, by the way–that he is the KING of such. THAT is poppycock. When was the last time he did anything of note? That’s right, the war with Crowndon. Everything since has been a commercial failure*. If he wants to get into an industrial race with me, let him. Let’s see who gets in the air first. He could use a lesson in humility.”

Rinkenbach then held his own press conference, the next day. He rented out two hotels for the press (and meals included: full disclosure). He stood before the microphone, and half of the world’s press.

“Challenge accepted,” Rinkenbach said, and such was the extent of his statements.

*Editor’s note: Rinkenbach Research and Development’s shares have been consistently high in recent months, and his products have made a profit. We here at the Gazette are unsure what Klankenvroot was referring to in his statement.

Blackwood Gazette #12: Klankenvroot to Rinkenbach: “Let’s See Who Gets in the Air First.”

Friday Free For All: Where, No One Knows Book Cover and Trailer Updates

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Book cover, concept artFirst up, an updated image of my proposed cover art for Where, No One Knows. Still a bit rough around the edges, but I’m liking it so far. It’s a combo of digital art made in Photoshop and 3D models created in 3DS Max. I’m still figuring out what type-face I want to use and text placement, so any input that may be had is appreciated.

book trailer, concept art, blakwood empire, where no one knows
Rigel Rinkenbach, Roderick La Pierre, and Klaus Klaudhopper, crew of the Pernicious Platitude

Next up is a group shot of some of the other characters in the novel, featuring some of the art I’m working on for the novel’s trailer. I’m aiming for kind of an art nouveau look for the trailer. Not sure how I landed on it, other than I like it. Can’t really think of a better reason for anything than that. I’m probably completely off base on what art nouveau is (my quick definition: illustrations with really heavy outlines), but whatever. I’ve put too much work into the trailer thus far to change the look of it now. It’s fly or die time, at this point.

Friday Free For All: Where, No One Knows Book Cover and Trailer Updates

Blackwood Gazette #10: Southern Crowndon Braces for Plague of Albino Locusts

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8/5-The southern provinces of the Crowndonian Empire, including the major trading centers of Walsh and Toring, are preparing for an invasion. Not from any human army, but from the hordes of Albino Locusts that descend upon the area every four years.

“They come up here, over the Demon’s Eye from Monteddor,” said Razule Gracia, the owner of one of the largest granaries in the Empire. “They come up here, and they lay their eggs in our grain,* and then they eat the grain. Entire crops are lost. Millions of pounds of gold, lost!”

Not to mention millions of lives. Southern Crowndon has a problem with poverty, and they rely on the surplus grain from farms like Gracia’s to survive.

“It’s always bad,” said a local homeless man who only goes by ‘John’. “Especially for the oldest among us. Every four years, the street population here in Walsh drops. People I’ve known my entire life, just gone. Never sure when it’s going to be my turn.”

Crowndon scientists are unsure what causes the quadrennial influx of the insects, but entomologists and climatologists in the Nor Eastern Empire share a theory.

“It has to do with air currents over the Demon’s Eye Cove,” said Jaques Dullane, one such climatologist from the Empress University. “The locusts reproduce by laying their eggs in the dirt along Monteddor’s northern ridge. These eggs get picked up by the wind. Normally, the currents above the cove intercept these eggs and blow them out to sea. But every two years there’s an event in the Barricade Ocean that causes this current to either shift or disappear altogether, and the eggs are carried into the southern Crowney Provinces, where they lay dormant in the nutrient rich soil. Two years later, there is typically another event that causes warmer than average summers. The eggs hatch, giving birth to millions of the locusts. We’re not sure what causes either event.”

This year marks the end of the four year cycle. So when can Crowndon expect to be covered in locusts?

“Within the next couple of months,” said Dullane.

*Editor’s note: Quotes are printed as spoken…any scientific inaccuracies are the fault of interviewee, not the Blackwood Gazette.

Blackwood Gazette #10: Southern Crowndon Braces for Plague of Albino Locusts

Blackwood Gazette #9: Man Pays for Meal with Smelly Gold, Arrested in Connection with Tuna Heist

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6/5-A new development in the story of the great Crowndonian Fish Heist, as the authorities are now calling it:

Martin Camwell got an ugly surprise after a dinner last night.

“I ordered a steak,” Camwell said. “Been wanting a steak, you see. Haven’t had none since the Crown seized my milliner’s shop and I got thrown out on the street. When I was done I tried paying for it with this bit ‘o gold a stranger gave me.”

That’s when the restaurant owner noticed something odd.

“Gold smelled bad,” the owner said. “Literally. At first I thought it was the bum, but when I recognized the hint of fish, I pieced it together with the robbery downtown.”

The restaurant’s proprietor contacted the authorities while the wait staff kept Camwell occupied with a dessert menu. When the city watch arrived, they took Camwell into custody, claiming that he did nothing wrong.

“I’m inclined to believe him,” said Deputy Chief Arthur Colingsworth, head of investigations into the heist. “He has no criminal record, and his story checks out. He’s also a bit of a lack-wit and a coward, so I doubt he had anything to do with the robbery, neither its execution and certainly not its execution.”

Colingsworth asked Camwell to provide a description of the man, which Camwell did.

“He described him as average height, ginger hair, mutton chops, and a gray over coat,” Colingsworth said. The inspector then alluded to the possibility that the mysterious man gave Camwell a message, then backpedaled when pushed on the subject.

“We have no further information on the subject at this time,” Colingsworth said, and disappeared into his office.

Charges against Martin Camwell in connection to the heist were dropped. However, he has been kept in custody on charges of vagrancy and disturbing the peace of the restaurant’s wealthy patrons, who report that the smell of the gold, and Camwell, offended them.

Related: Bank Full of Fish Gets Cleaned Out…

Blackwood Gazette #9: Man Pays for Meal with Smelly Gold, Arrested in Connection with Tuna Heist

Friday Free For All: Where, No One Knows Book Cover Preview

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Pixie Sinclaire, Digital painting,Blackwood Empire, Where No One Knows, Preview, Book cover
Pixie Sinclaire, reporting for duty!

Today, I’d thought I’d share some of the character artwork I’m working on for the book cover of my novel, Where, No One Knows.

I’d thought I had a pretty good piece of art to use already, but it’s been about a year and a half since I did that, and I’ve learned a few things since then. Until now, whenever I’ve done an illustration for a story I’ve kept the line work to hide my deficiencies as an artist, and waving it off as a choice of style. But I’m trying to get to a point where my illustrations look decent without the lines containing different areas of color.

The above image isn’t anywhere near complete. I haven’t yet started detailing the fabric, or figured out what I want the background to be (probably something similar to the old illustration), much less smoothing out the edges. I’m working in Photoshop and every color has its own grouping of layers, so I’m waiting to merge everything before tackling that. On the upside, my new computer doesn’t chug whenever I have more than a couple layers open, so I’m able to work with a fuller view of things. I’m even able to use brush dynamics (although, more than a couple of those and things start to slow down.)

Hope you like it, and as always, have a great weekend!

Here are some other posts featuring the character of Pixie Sinclaire, for comparison:

Character Profile: Pixie Sinclaire

Book Trailer Update

Speaking of that Book trailer:

When my old computer took a dive in January, I lost all progress I had made on it. I also lost an almost entirely revised copy of the manuscript. The book itself being the priority, I tackled finishing that up, first. I’ve only recently begun working on the trailer again, but I hope to have something to show soon. Maybe next week?

Friday Free For All: Where, No One Knows Book Cover Preview

Blackwood Gazette #8: Tensions Rising Over Sarnwainian Development of Combustion Engines

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1/5-The Imperial Blackwood Authority is up in arms today over reports that the Sarnwainian Empire has plans to pursue oil based combustion engines.

“If the Sarnwainians figure out how to build an engine that uses their impressive oil deposits, we’re all screwed,” said Authority head Richard Leavensworth. “Over time they would prove to be cheaper than the cost of harvesting and shipping Blackwood for our current steam-based transportation system. Combine that with the availability of Sarnwainian oil versus the limited resource of the Blackwood Grove…the Triumvirate would fall apart. We’re talking about an almost over night shift in economic power and a complete reconstruction of the way the world works.”

Blackwood magnate Marco de Santana isn’t worried.

“Let the Sarnwainians try their combustion engines,” de Santa said. “We tried it once. It didn’t work. The oil gummed up the works. And before it did, the engines were loud, and the fumes coming off the engine choked the warehouse. The citizenry won’t like it once presented with the setbacks.”

The opinions of the citizenry seem to indicate otherwise, however.

“Something cheaper than Blackwood?” one local, who owns a small independent transport company, said. “Sign me up. Costs me six months salary for a chunk of Blackwood to power my little airbus for nine. Maybe one day we’ll ALL be able to afford one of them autos you see the rich folks driving around. People like De Santana, they’re just worried about their own personal wealth.”

Scientists from around the Triumvirate are the most concerned with this development overall.

“In addition to the geopolitical ramifications everyone is prattling on about are the environmental ones,” said Sir Rigel Rinkenbach, of NorEaster. “I was there when we tried our own oil based engine. I even helped design the damn thing! Now imagine a city full of such engines, making noise and pumping black smoke into the air. Say goodbye to the clear blue of the Imperial Skyways, and the immaculate stone work of Oeil de Fleur. No, we must re double our efforts in re-creating the Blackwood formulae, and we must stop at nothing to prevent the Sarnwainians from succeeding. Stay with Steam! Down with Diesel!”

Blackwood Gazette #8: Tensions Rising Over Sarnwainian Development of Combustion Engines

Blackwood Gazette #6: Bank Full of Fish Gets Cleaned Out…In More Ways than One

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24/4-After nearly a week long closure, the First Imperial Bank of Crowndon reopened this morning. Unfortunately, when the Bank manager opened the doors and took stock of the bank’s holdings, he discovered something disturbing.

“They took everything!” The manager said, through tears. “Almost a fifth of the city’s gold and silver, gone. You would think you can trust a crew of menial laborers with a vault full of gold.”
Authorities aren’t so sure that employees with sticky fingers are to blame, however.

“We are working under the theory at this moment that the entire thing was orchestrated,” said Deputy Chief Arthur Colingsworth. “The ship crashing into the bank, the dumping of the fish, the cleaning crew, everything.”

If this theory proves to be true, it would certainly make for one of the most bizarre heists in Crowndon history. Who could be the mastermind behind such a cunning task?

“We have a small list of candidates,” Colingsworth said. “The most popular candidate among the men right now is Pixie Sinclaire, but that’s only because she has a following in the department. The most reasonable explanation is a crew of pirates or mercenaries set the whole thing up. Probably a crack team led by Captain Ferdinand Gnash, or Seylene Plamondon.”

When asked if there was any truth to the rumor that the caper had been pulled off by former Crowndon Admiral Roderick Beauchamp La Pierre, who is rumored to have gone pirate, Colingsworth laughed.

“Absolutely not,” he said.

One is left wondering how such a thing could happen. Shouldn’t there be protocols in place to ensure that so much money can’t be stolen?

“You mean, protocols for when a ship full of tuna crashes into your bank and renders an entire city block uninhabitable for nearly a week?” The manager said. “No. We don’t have protocols in place for that.”

Blackwood Gazette #6: Bank Full of Fish Gets Cleaned Out…In More Ways than One

Blackwood Gazette #5: Airship Carrying Fish Crashes into Bank; Special Cleaning Crews Required

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It looks like the citizens of lower Crowndon are going to have to cut open their mattresses. A commercial fishing ship crashed into the First Imperial Bank of Crowndon’s lower branch this weekend.

“It’s one of the dangers of airship society,” the bank manager said. “I always knew something like this would happen. I just didn’t know it would happen to me!”

The crash occurred in the middle of the afternoon, during peak hours. Several injuries were reported, but no one was killed. The biggest injury was likely to the egos of those present.

“The ship hit the roof, broke through, and split open,” one fish covered customer told me from behind a special cordon, twenty feet away. “Never seen nothing like it. The fish just spilled out. I was right under it. They’ve done scrubbed me down twenty times in five different solvents and I still stink. I tell you, my wife is going to be [angry].”

The ship carried a full load of Barrier Sea tuna, famous for its taste, and infamous for its odor. This reporter isn’t sure how that works, but apparently it does.

“The entire bank reeks,” a teller said. “The main lobby, the furniture, the bank notes themselves. We’ve several million dollars worth of gold and silver. We couldn’t give it away, the smell is so bad.”

The First Imperial Bank has called in a special crew of cleaners that deal with Barrier Tuna spills. The clean up is expected to take several days. In the meantime, it is recommended that no one travel within two blocks of the bank.

“This is really inconvenient,” said a nearby business owner. “It doesn’t just hurt the bank’s business…it hurts the entire area’s. Namely, mine.”

Blackwood Gazette #5: Airship Carrying Fish Crashes into Bank; Special Cleaning Crews Required

Book Excerpt No. 2: Where, No One Knows

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Today I thought I’d share another excerpt from Where, No One Knows (or, as I’ve started to call it, the novel that killed two computers).  It’s pretty much the entirety of Chapter 5, in which our protagonist, former agent provocateur and alchemist extraordinaire Pixie Sinclaire, faces off against a ten foot tall Murder-Bot and learns that the situation aboard the prison ship she has infiltrated is much more complicated than previously thought. Enjoy, and feel free to leave feedback on how it can be improved. A previous excerpt can be found here (though, it’s been revised since).

Continue reading “Book Excerpt No. 2: Where, No One Knows” →

Book Excerpt No. 2: Where, No One Knows