It looks like the citizens of lower Crowndon are going to have to cut open their mattresses. A commercial fishing ship crashed into the First Imperial Bank of Crowndon’s lower branch this weekend.

“It’s one of the dangers of airship society,” the bank manager said. “I always knew something like this would happen. I just didn’t know it would happen to me!”

The crash occurred in the middle of the afternoon, during peak hours. Several injuries were reported, but no one was killed. The biggest injury was likely to the egos of those present.

“The ship hit the roof, broke through, and split open,” one fish covered customer told me from behind a special cordon, twenty feet away. “Never seen nothing like it. The fish just spilled out. I was right under it. They’ve done scrubbed me down twenty times in five different solvents and I still stink. I tell you, my wife is going to be [angry].”

The ship carried a full load of Barrier Sea tuna, famous for its taste, and infamous for its odor. This reporter isn’t sure how that works, but apparently it does.

“The entire bank reeks,” a teller said. “The main lobby, the furniture, the bank notes themselves. We’ve several million dollars worth of gold and silver. We couldn’t give it away, the smell is so bad.”

The First Imperial Bank has called in a special crew of cleaners that deal with Barrier Tuna spills. The clean up is expected to take several days. In the meantime, it is recommended that no one travel within two blocks of the bank.

“This is really inconvenient,” said a nearby business owner. “It doesn’t just hurt the bank’s business…it hurts the entire area’s. Namely, mine.”