15/5-A representative for Klankenvroot Industries issued a press release yesterday stating that plans to build the world’s first commercial Planar Wing Aircraft are proceeding ahead of schedule.
“We are half-way through the concepting stage,” said the representative. “None of you probably knows what that means. It pretty much means we’re halfway there.”
Not to make things too easy for Klankenvroot, however, long time rival and fellow industrialist Rigel Rinkenbach issued his own statement in response to Klankenvroot’s claims.
“His press release is complete and utter poppycock,” Rinkenbach said. “Sorry for the redundancy, my dear girl, but it bears repeating where Ivan is concerned. The man is a moron. I’m sure we here at Rinkenbach R&D could not only design such an aircraft before Klankenvroot, despite his head start, but we could build it and have it taking passengers halfway through a maiden voyage before he ever hits the factory floor to build a prototype, never mind an actual PWA.”
Klankenvroot was quick to respond, going so far as to rent out the entirety of the Empress Hotel in Oeil de Fleur for a press conference.
“Rinkenbach is still riding off past successes,” Klankenvroot said. “He thinks that just because he is the Father of Planar Wing Aviation–a title which is debatable, by the way–that he is the KING of such. THAT is poppycock. When was the last time he did anything of note? That’s right, the war with Crowndon. Everything since has been a commercial failure*. If he wants to get into an industrial race with me, let him. Let’s see who gets in the air first. He could use a lesson in humility.”
Rinkenbach then held his own press conference, the next day. He rented out two hotels for the press (and meals included: full disclosure). He stood before the microphone, and half of the world’s press.
“Challenge accepted,” Rinkenbach said, and such was the extent of his statements.
*Editor’s note: Rinkenbach Research and Development’s shares have been consistently high in recent months, and his products have made a profit. We here at the Gazette are unsure what Klankenvroot was referring to in his statement.