Blackwood Gazette #105: Missing Professor Found, Babbling Incoherently

by Chester Seaton, News

22/4- After months of silence on the part of Colonial authorities investigating the disappearance of a team sent to find out what fate befell the citizens of Lelina, including the Gazette’s own Adella Chatelaine, we’ve received word of a major breakthrough.

Early last week, a man was discovered on the outskirts of Point Hammond, fifty miles north along the Miskaton River. Law enforcement for the town say the man was bleeding from small cuts all over his body, likely sustained by bramble bushes in the wilds surrounding the area, and was babbling incoherently.

He was taken into custody and held in the town’s drunk tank, where he fell unconscious for two days before a doctor was called in from a neighboring town. The doctor reported that the man was suffering from shock. A day later the man awoke, and during a brief spell of lucidity, identified himself as Professor Martine Babin of New Crowndon University. He claimed to have no memory of anything past getting on the river boat in Docryville. Shortly afterward, he slipped back into his fugue state.

No word has come on the details of his ramblings, though an unnamed source described them as “disturbing.”

Investigators have turned their attention to the wilds around Point Hammond. We here at the Gazette pray for positive news regarding the fate of the Lelina team.

Blackwood Gazette #105: Missing Professor Found, Babbling Incoherently

Blackwood Gazette #104: Colonial Militia Prepares to Mobilize Against Von Grimm Gang

By Hil Spencer, New Crowndon Correspondent

21/4- Two weeks after losing the frontier outpost Fort Winstone to the nefarious bandit Doctor Argyle Von Grimm and his gang of mechanically enhanced miscreants, the colonial militia says that it is ready to make a second push to retake the fort.

“The push can’t happen soon enough,” Field Marshal Ameron Lassiter said. “The Von Grimm gang has terrorized the colonial frontier long enough, and this latest episode has been especially trying, from a morale standpoint.”

Lassiter is likely referring to the idea, expressed by many citizens along the frontier, that the takeover isn’t representative of any actual threat, but merely a bruise on the militia’s ego.

“Things have only gotten worse ‘round here, last couple weeks,” a man from Craw, a small town one hundred miles away from the fort, told us. “And it ain’t because of Von Grimm’s gang. It’s ‘cos all our militia men are off gatherin ‘round that old fort that been of no importance for fifty years, watchin Von Grimm, and left us open to be robbed by these other varmints runnin’ ‘round here; the Clammets and the Rogs, the Darners and Tarvers.”

Lassiter claims the militia is not unaware of smaller gangs making their move now that the Von Grimms are holed up.

“We understand the frustration of the townsfolk, but those smaller gangs are second fiddle to the Mad Mechanist. This is a man who has cut a swath of terror from Nor Easter to Old Crowndon, and down the coast of Monteddor. He brought down Waystation Delta, and he’s blazed his way through the colonies out to the frontier, pausing only to kick puppies and steal candy from babies. Yes, he’s actually done that; that’s the kind of monster we’re dealing with. We’ll turn our attention away once he’s dealt with.

“It won’t be long now. Our squadron of Dragonflies arrives from the capital in the next few days. We’ve fitted them to drop fire jelly. We’re going to turn that fort into a boiling pot of bandit flesh and molten copper.”

Blackwood Gazette #104: Colonial Militia Prepares to Mobilize Against Von Grimm Gang

Blackwood Gazette #103: The Heisenberg Crash: Is Anyone Really Surprised?

By Sir Rigel Rinkenbach, Guest Editorial

20/4- Let me just begin this piece by saying that any loss of human life, no matter how small or trivial, is a tragedy. I am not writing this, however, to wax poetic about the deaths of those on board the Heisenberg or offer pretty platitudes…anyone with any modicum of power and a pulpit from which to wield said power has done so in the last week. And besides, those on board were hired for the expressed purpose of fulfilling the function they, well, fulfilled by dying in place of people like our illustrious Empress, Her Imperial Majesty Marcellete Bastian.

No, the purpose of this piece is to ask the question, is anyone really surprised that the Heisenberg went down in flames over the Crowndon country side?

I, for one, am not. I expected it. Had I been on the passenger list, I likely would have employed the same diversionary tactics of those other high profile individuals. Why, you ask? Because I, and we, are not morons (with the exception of Miss Tralala…that poor, pitiful soul). And one would have to be such a moron as to get on board an aircraft constructed by the Crowndonian government for the express purpose getting said aircraft into the air before someone else.

Admittedly, that someone else was me. It is true, I egged Crowndon on by challenging Ivan Klankenvroot to an industrial race to see who could build the world’s first commercial fixed wing aircraft. I admit to and take on whatever weight of responsibility that fact bestows upon me.

I do believe, however, that had Klankenvroot been allowed to continue working on his project without the heavy hand of Crowndon crashing around in his metaphorical toolbox, the Heisenberg would have been a technically sound marvel built by the hand of a master craftsman, rather than the scrambled together heap of metal beaten into shape by the cudgels of military ‘engineers’. He would not have beaten me, but it would have been something to see, indeed.

No, it was the interference of the Crowndon Oligarchs, and to a lesser extent the series of unfortunate events of last year that led to a decline in Crowndonian national pride, that caused a lack of quality assurance in the interest of meeting a deadline. It is even more tragic when you consider the fact that I abandoned this race months ago. I had largely forgotten about it until I heard the news. They rushed to meet a deadline that no longer existed.

Citizens of the Triumvirate, I ask you not to be angry at those pillars who simply used time worn diversionary tactics to ensure their own safety; they did what they would have done regardless of who built it (though I’m sure all 122 passengers would still be alive if Klankenvroot had overseen construction. And had we been testing my own design, I never would have allowed this media circus of putting people of power on a test flight to begin with. I would have tested it in secret first and then STAGED a second test flight for the amusement of the citizen). Turn your ire instead on the puppet masters who have their bloody paws on the crank of the meat grinder that is Crowndonian government: the long standing, backwards facing Oligarchs. For they, like it or not, are one link in the chain of Imperial industry, and they are beyond any doubt the weakest.

Blackwood Gazette #103: The Heisenberg Crash: Is Anyone Really Surprised?

Blackwood Gazette #102-Julianos Soldiers Found Slaughtered; Full Strength Garrison Moves In

by Isairo Palantes, Monteddorian Correspondent

16/4-The newly formed security forces of Alejandro Julianos are being tested this week as the tensions between the new regime and farmers in the region have reached fever pitch.
Earlier this week, five soldiers tasked with overseeing crop collection lines were found dead in a local brothel, their throats cut and their weapons stolen.

“We swear, we have no idea who did this,” said the owner of the brothel, one Serita Ines Dionisio. “It certainly wasn’t any of mine; the men who were killed had just arrived, and I sent them upstairs to wait. They were already dead when I sent the girls up.”

In response to the death, Alejandro Julianos himself ordered a full battalion to move in and reinforce the soldiers already in the town. The local residents aren’t happy.

“These upstarts don’t get it,” said one man, who asked to remain anonymous. “They get mad, they stop thinking. I don’t like all these men either, or these new tithes. But you kill five, you get ten more for each one, standing on every corner, watching every move you make and just looking for an excuse. Yes, part of me wants to give these glorified goons the boot, but part of me also wants this assassin found, because until he, or they, are identified, these men see us all as a threat. Even then, who knows?”

Blackwood Gazette #102-Julianos Soldiers Found Slaughtered; Full Strength Garrison Moves In

Blackwood Gazette #101-SCANDAL: Heisenberg Passengers were Servants of People Reported to be on Board

by Chester Seaton, News

15/4- The best word that can be used to describe the atmosphere around Triumvirate High Society this morning is ‘confusion’. Just a day after finding out that several high ranking members of the community had been killed in the tragic Heisenberg crash, including the Empress of NorEaster, we now learn that all but one of the high profile passengers were not on the plane at all.

Empress Bastian…alive. Playwright Delando…alive. Tobacco magnate Archibald Starkfeld…alive. This list goes on, of people not only rich enough to afford tickets on the maiden flight, but rich enough to hire others to go in their place and convince the world that they had been a part of this history making event.

So, yes, confusion is the word to describe it. On the one hand, the leader of one of our three Empires still lives, likely averting a power vacuum and a ton of finger pointing and accusations between NorEaster and Crowndon. On the other hand the Empress, as well as others, filled the plane with servants and body doubles groomed to convince the world of their presence on the plane, and in so doing take all the glory without any of the risk. Publicity photos released after the event of passengers boarding were staged (all photography was contracted out). Yes, one hundred and twenty people are dead. However, we can say that of that number, the only person of any importance to die was Pipi Tralala, a dubious claim at best.

Blackwood Gazette #101-SCANDAL: Heisenberg Passengers were Servants of People Reported to be on Board

Blackwood Gazette #100- Heisenberg Crashes; All On Board Perish

By Chester Seaton, News

14/4- The Triumvirate is reeling today at the news that the test flight for the Heisenberg, proposed to be the world’s first commercial fixed wing aircraft, crashed into the Crowndonian countryside outside of Toring.

The aircraft launched at 1830 on the night of the twelfth. The takeoff was flawless, according to onlookers and technicians on the ground. The aircraft flew for nearly two miles before radio reports came in stating that they had lost an engine. This matches up with observers placed along the plane’s flight path, who reported seeing a plume of black smoke coming from two of the starboard engines. The plane crashed shortly thereafter and exploded. The flaming wreckage then rolled unimpeded through the fields, leaving behind it a four mile long scar in the earth. A farm was crushed and two cows were killed.

The toll taken by the crash, both economically and in human life, is said to be astronomical. None of the aircraft’s reported one hundred and twenty passengers and crew are said to have survived. Among the dead are playwright Delando, who was scheduled to make a rare public appearance at the re-opening of the Empress Theatre later this week, colonial industrialist Archibald Starkfeld, and none other than the Empress of NorEaster herself, Her Imperial Majesty Marcellete Bastian.

After the crash, the Crowndon ruling body immediately released an apology and condolences to the people of NorEaster. NorEaster has yet to respond.

The crash has called into the question the future use of fixed wing aircraft for commercial purposes, and Samson Davies, long known as a detractor for such aircraft, is said to be demanding the right to fully investigate the incident along with the Crowndonian Authorities.

Blackwood Gazette #100- Heisenberg Crashes; All On Board Perish

Vicarious Viewing: Oh No, WHAT THE SEVEN HELLS!? Edition

Hello, all. As many followers of this blog may know (because its the reason you likely followed in the first place) I like to write reviews of Game of Thrones in a column with the cumbersomely alliterative name of “Vicarious Viewing”. The new season premiered last night, so that should mean a new review, right?

No, but in all embarrassing seriousness, I fully intend to carry on with said reviews, it’s just that at the  moment, I don’t have HBO. I’m working on rectifying that, but since I don’t have an i-device (otherwise I’d just subscribe to HBO Now and be done with it) I’m at the mercy of my cable provider which, understandably, has a waiting list of people trying to get HBO just for this one show. It should be taken care of today. So don’t bail! Reviews are coming.

In the meantime, you can check out previous reviews by clicking here.

Update: Hey hey! Apparently the season premiere is available for free until the 16th on Xbox Live. What a fortuitous turn of events.

Vicarious Viewing: Oh No, WHAT THE SEVEN HELLS!? Edition