Rigel Rinkenbach

Blackwood Gazette #141-Rinkenbach Announcement Smashes IIC, but Not In the Way Anyone Expected

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By Ada Herschel, Science and Technology

15/6- As I entered the coliseum in Oeil de Fleur for this year’s Industry and Innovation Conference, a success story from last year’s conference hung, quite literally, in the air. That success is, of course, the Foundation Inc. interior climate control system. Given that it made the three hour wait between seating and presentation all the more bearable, and that Rinkenbach Industries was the first showing of the conference, I found myself more excited than I have been in a long time for the IIC.

That excitement quickly soured, however, as Rinkenbach hit the stage. The man known for flashy entrances, such as launching himself from a trap door under the stage, or descending from the rafters suspended by wires, or appearing in an explosion of smoke and flame, simply stumbled out from backstage. He was pursued by someone I’m assuming was a PR rep, trying to stop him. When the PR rep realized that thousands of people were watching him, he quickly about faced and headed backstage, throwing his hands up.

“Good evening, Oeil de Fleur,” Rinkenbach said in opening, despite the fact that it was nine in the morning. “And Welcome to Rinkenbach R&D’s IIC conference. We’ve got a big announcement today, that’s going to change EVERYTHING!”

With a flourish of his hands, two buxom assistants wearing sequin gowns rolled out what appeared to be a man on a dolly. I immediately knew what it was…the new model of clockwork butler. Apparently everyone else in the room knew it, too, because when Rinkenbach revealed the mech, it was met with middling applause.

“The Clockwork Butler Mark IV,” Rinkenbach said, his voice more than a little slurred. “I know you’ve all been waiting for it, so, here it is!”

The middling applause didn’t grow any louder.

“Ahem. Alright then. Moving on. The Mark IV hosts a veritable, um, host, yes, of improvements over the popular Mark III, making it the premiere automaton on the market. For instance, new gyroscopic attachments for the arms ensure that your daily tea will no longer get spilled.”

My colleague, industry analyst Jerald Doramus, sat two seats down from me. When I interviewed him after the announcement of the Mark IV several weeks ago, this development was one of two possibilities Doramus offered, the other being a free thinking doomsday machine. Needless to say, Doramus looked relieved.

“That’s really a small thing, however,” Rinkenbach said, continuing on. “For now, the Mark IV is capable of something no other automaton has been capable of before.

“This unit has a name. Francois. Hello, Francois.”

“Good morning, sir.”

The coliseum was deathly silent as the automaton not only spoke, but responded to inquiry.

“Morning? Don’t be silly, Francois. It’s evening.”

“No, sir. It’s morning.”

“Oh, dear, how embarrassing. There must be a glitch in Francois’s time configuration.”

“There is no glitch,” Francois said. “Check your watch.”

This elicited a round of laughter from the audience. I looked again at Doramus. He’d gone completely white, and held his head down in his hand.

The implications of Rinkenbach’s unveiling are shocking. Not only was the voice coming from the automaton of striking clarity and even warmth, but it was adapting to the flow of the conversation. Any reservations that this could have been a put on were laid to rest when seemingly random members of the audience began asking questions. More than a few times, the Mark IV was unable to answer, but one question in particular not only garnished a response from the automaton, but a panicked reaction from Rinkenbach that cut the show short and raises some serious questions about the future of the Triumvirate.

“Is Rigel Rinkenbach working on the Blackwood Formulae, and how far has he gotten?”

“Yes,” the robot answered. “As of this morning he has computed more than fifteen point six five nine three two percent of the formulae, according to his own est—“

The automaton went silent, and I could see Rinkenbach standing next to it with a large box, smoking wires dangling from the bottom, presumably ripped from within the machine

“Thank you, Francois,” Rinkenbach said. “That’s quite enough. Um, thank you all for coming! Enjoy the show.”

Rinkenbach rushed off stage as a deluge of questions were shouted at him from the audience. I, like many other reporters at the conference, tried to set up a one on one interview, but it seems that Rinkenbach has left the city. In any case, the bar has been set for this year’s IIC.

Blackwood Gazette #141-Rinkenbach Announcement Smashes IIC, but Not In the Way Anyone Expected

Blackwood Gazette #139: Drunken Rigel Rinkenbach Wreaks Havoc During Business Meeting in Greenlille

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By Basilio Mura, Nor Easter Correspondent

11/6- World renowned industrialist and master alchemist Sir Rigel Rinkenbach may have come within a hairs breadth of starting a civil war this weekend.

While meeting with the Mayor of the town of Greenlille in the nation of Sau Anoit, Rinkenbach reportedly partook in more than his fair share of the Mayor’s personal wine cellar. Sources tell us that over the course of a social dinner, Rinkenbach imbibed five bottles single handedly and went on a drunken tear throughout the estate.

“We knew something was wrong when he rode through the courtyard with his shirt open, that damned owl of his flying behind him,” said one person in attendance. “He rode into the mayor’s fountain, leapt from the horse’s back with what I assume was meant to be a flourish, and fell face first into the water.”

Rinkenbach then reportedly made his way through the crowd, ranting about the scarcity of Blackwood and how if he wasn’t the one to do something about it, the world was doomed.

“A classic case of self-destructive heroic narcissism,” said doctor Antonez Dupleur, a respected psychologist from Sau Anoit who witnessed the event. “As I am led to believe, Rinkenbach has never acted this way before. I fear we may be witnessing the beginnings of a nervous breakdown, brought on by stress, presumably from working on a solution to the Blackwood Dilemma.”

It has been rumored for some time that Rinkenbach, and several alchemists, are working to solve the puzzle of how Blackwood, the fuel that keeps our boilers stoked, our homes warm, and our airships in the sky, is created. If what doctor Dupleur says is true, it wouldn’t be the first time an alchemist has been driven mad by his pursuit of the Blackwood formulae.

Rinkenbach’s antics continued throughout the night, causing thousands of imperions worth of damage, and culminating in Rinkenbach being discovered engaged in romantic congress with the Mayor’s twin daughters and his house keeper. Rinkenbach is said to have fled the scene, hand in hand with said house keeper. The Mayor has issued a bounty on Rinkenbach’s head, though that bounty has been pardoned by the Empress herself.

“Rinkenbach is our most treasured mind,” Her Imperial Majesty said. “He is a brilliant, but obviously tortured soul. We should seek to understand and heal him, rather than admonish. If what he says about the Blackwood Dilemma is true, he may be our society’s only hope to continue on its current course.”

Blackwood Gazette #139: Drunken Rigel Rinkenbach Wreaks Havoc During Business Meeting in Greenlille

Blackwood Gazette #117: Rinkenbach R&D Announces the Announcement for its Fourth Generation Clockwork Butler

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By Ada Herschel, Science and Technology

11/5- It’s been over three years since Rinkenbach R&D released the latest iteration of its popular Clockwork Butler line. The line, which put inventor and alchemist Rigel Rinkenbach on the map as the world’s premier manufacturer of luxury technology at the age of 15, has traditionally followed a two year release schedule, so the extra year has left consumers clamoring for information.

“I wish I could say the wait was a preplanned promotional strategy,” Rigel Rinkenbach told us. “But, alas, the feverish anticipation surrounding the announcement of a next-gen Clockwork Butler was a happy side effect.

“No, the real reason for the extra year was to give us more time to iterate. The Butler Mark III was our most successful product line, mainly due to improvements in manufacturing leading to lower cost, higher production volume, and more units in people’s homes. And it wasn’t just the upper crust using the Butler either, but those working directly under the upper crust. We hope that the Mark IV will be the Butler’s first foray into the lower upper class.”

What innovations can consumers expect when the Fourth Generation Butler is released?

“Oh, dear me, no,” Rinkenbach said. “Forgive me, but I wouldn’t want to spill the beans in a simple write up. This is just a teaser, my dear, to say it’s coming. A full reveal will come at this year’s Industry and Innovation Conference, next month. We’ll have more information at that time, and not a moment sooner!”

With Rinkenbach remaining tight-lipped on his new product, the Gazette turned to leading industry analyst Jerald Doramus what he thinks the new Butler will be like.

“I have no earthly idea,” Doramus said. “We’re talking about Rigel Rinkenbach, here. The man’s mind works on a level most can’t even begin to comprehend. For all I know, the next Butler could simply be capable of bringing your tea without dropping the cup three out of four times, or it could be capable of full autonomy leading to the complete subjugation of the human race. The man belongs in an asylum, if you ask me.”

Blackwood Gazette #117: Rinkenbach R&D Announces the Announcement for its Fourth Generation Clockwork Butler

Blackwood Empire: The Rogues Gallery, Vol. I

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Last week I did a Blackwood Gazette accompanied by a mock wanted poster. I had a lot of fun making that poster, so I decided to do a bunch more for some of the major players in these stories. Enjoy!

Keep away from cats!
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Steampunk Outlaw. Also, kind of a troll.
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That's quite the resume...
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Vintage Rinkenbach...
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He's his own worst enemy, really...
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Blackwood Empire: The Rogues Gallery, Vol. I

Blackwood Gazette #103: The Heisenberg Crash: Is Anyone Really Surprised?

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By Sir Rigel Rinkenbach, Guest Editorial

20/4- Let me just begin this piece by saying that any loss of human life, no matter how small or trivial, is a tragedy. I am not writing this, however, to wax poetic about the deaths of those on board the Heisenberg or offer pretty platitudes…anyone with any modicum of power and a pulpit from which to wield said power has done so in the last week. And besides, those on board were hired for the expressed purpose of fulfilling the function they, well, fulfilled by dying in place of people like our illustrious Empress, Her Imperial Majesty Marcellete Bastian.

No, the purpose of this piece is to ask the question, is anyone really surprised that the Heisenberg went down in flames over the Crowndon country side?

I, for one, am not. I expected it. Had I been on the passenger list, I likely would have employed the same diversionary tactics of those other high profile individuals. Why, you ask? Because I, and we, are not morons (with the exception of Miss Tralala…that poor, pitiful soul). And one would have to be such a moron as to get on board an aircraft constructed by the Crowndonian government for the express purpose getting said aircraft into the air before someone else.

Admittedly, that someone else was me. It is true, I egged Crowndon on by challenging Ivan Klankenvroot to an industrial race to see who could build the world’s first commercial fixed wing aircraft. I admit to and take on whatever weight of responsibility that fact bestows upon me.

I do believe, however, that had Klankenvroot been allowed to continue working on his project without the heavy hand of Crowndon crashing around in his metaphorical toolbox, the Heisenberg would have been a technically sound marvel built by the hand of a master craftsman, rather than the scrambled together heap of metal beaten into shape by the cudgels of military ‘engineers’. He would not have beaten me, but it would have been something to see, indeed.

No, it was the interference of the Crowndon Oligarchs, and to a lesser extent the series of unfortunate events of last year that led to a decline in Crowndonian national pride, that caused a lack of quality assurance in the interest of meeting a deadline. It is even more tragic when you consider the fact that I abandoned this race months ago. I had largely forgotten about it until I heard the news. They rushed to meet a deadline that no longer existed.

Citizens of the Triumvirate, I ask you not to be angry at those pillars who simply used time worn diversionary tactics to ensure their own safety; they did what they would have done regardless of who built it (though I’m sure all 122 passengers would still be alive if Klankenvroot had overseen construction. And had we been testing my own design, I never would have allowed this media circus of putting people of power on a test flight to begin with. I would have tested it in secret first and then STAGED a second test flight for the amusement of the citizen). Turn your ire instead on the puppet masters who have their bloody paws on the crank of the meat grinder that is Crowndonian government: the long standing, backwards facing Oligarchs. For they, like it or not, are one link in the chain of Imperial industry, and they are beyond any doubt the weakest.

Blackwood Gazette #103: The Heisenberg Crash: Is Anyone Really Surprised?

Blackwood Gazette #91- Auction for Test Flight Tickets Raises Millions

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By Chester Seaton, News

2/3- An auction for tickets to participate in the upcoming Heisenberg test flight was held this weekend. Bidding for each ticket started at 2000 imperial scrip, but reports say that each ticket, around 100 in all, went for no less than 50,000 each. This, on top of the fact that a 1000 scrip entry fee was charged for each of the auctions reported 500 seats, resulted in a killing for The Ministry of Crowndonian Planar Wing Transport.

The high entry fee priced out most of the average citizen, and most of those in attendance were movers and shakers in Triumvirate society. Socialites from all three empires, and even a few from Sarnwain, were in attendance. Tickets went to the wealthiest, surprising absolutely no one.
Among the winners was Nor Eastern Empress Marcellette Bastian, who took home the first twenty tickets.

“It is important that Nor Easter has a heavy presence on that plane,” said Her Imperial Majesty. “Not only for posterity, but as a show of support for our industrious neighbors to the west.”

Other winners include: Yolanda Desantana, who sent an envoy on her behalf, stating ‘business reasons’ for her inability to attend in person; Archibald Starkfeld, owner of the largest tobacco grower in the Colonies; the playwright Delando, currently working on the film version of his newest play; and Minister P.P. Walther, a weapons manufacturer from Toring.

Almost as interesting has who was there are those who were not. Notable absentees were Rigel Rinkenbach, the industrialist whose challenge kept the enterprise going, and Ivan Klankenvroot, whose company conceptualized and began construction. Neither man could be reached for comment.

The Heisenberg test flight is currently scheduled to take place on the seventh of next month. Citizens of Crowndon and the Triumvirate all are encouraged to attend.

Blackwood Gazette #91- Auction for Test Flight Tickets Raises Millions

Blackwood Gazette #90- Heisenberg Project Nears Completion; Test Flight Imminent, Crowndon Says

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By Chester Seaton, News

23/2- The Ministry for Crowndonian Planar Wing Transport, formerly known as Klankenvroot Industries before it was taken over by the government, has announced that the highly contentious Heisenberg Project is nearing completion.

The project, intended to serve as the world’s first commercial fixed wing air craft, has had a rocky road. Updates on the project recently went dark, in light of Crowndon’s economic woes.
Work on the project has continued, however, and a test flight is scheduled for early next month. Tickets for the inaugural flight are being auctioned off later this week, with several members of high society expressing an interest in taking part.

The announcement has been met with some consternation, however. The revelation that the extremely expensive project continued in light of the Blackwood shortage and the market crashing Great Tuna Heist has many of Crowndon’s academics up in arms. It is estimated that over ten thousand people in Crowndon’s Northern reaches died or disappeared during the harsh winter, and the idea that money was being poured into a prototype technology that would serve a purpose already being performed by air ships is morally offensive.

In light of the announcement, we reached out to Klankenvroot rival Sir Rigel Rinkenbach, for an update on his own project.

“To be perfectly honest, I had completely forgotten about our little wager,” Rinkenbach said. “Since Ivan [Klankenvroot] has defected and come to work for me, I lost complete interest in the matter. We’ve moved on to other projects, exciting ones that will change to world. Which probably goes without saying, as I’m involved, after all. I cannot speak of them at this time, however.”

Blackwood Gazette #90- Heisenberg Project Nears Completion; Test Flight Imminent, Crowndon Says

Blackwood Gazette #83- Imperial Edict for the 281st Year of the Triumvirate

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By Sir Alaric Wolstenholme McAndrew V, Crowndon Minister of Propaganda

8/1-Greetings, citizens of Crowndon, and citizens of our neighbors in Nor Easter. Also, Monteddor. We see you. We just aren’t very happy with you at the moment.

Many of you may be wondering why I, the Honorable Sir Alaric Wolstenholme McAndrew V, am writing an article for the Gazette. It is part of an arrangement, the details of which I am sure would be much too complex and boring for the layman to understand, that Mister Merchant’s father made with the Crown to keep his little newspaper afloat when it nearly went under three years ago. This deal allows the Crowndon military to post a representative, in this case myself, as a member of the Gazette’s staff in times of great national crisis.

And make no mistake, we are in crisis.

Monteddor finds itself embroiled in an internal ‘family dispute’ that has all but stopped shipments of our lifeblood from flowing into Crowndon, and Nor Easter as well. The Empress of Nor Easter, meanwhile, finds it more imperative to gallivant with artists and amuse herself with gossip than address the growing number of protests and myriad groups of political dissenters in her ranks.

Meanwhile, across the Barrier Ocean, our colonies face hardships of their own. A group, nay, and ARMY of bandits terrorizes the western frontier, and grows larger by the day. Too large for the Colonial Marshals to combat on their own. Disease runs rampant in the south, and an entire township has disappeared, along with anyone sent to investigate, including the Gazette’s own Adella Chatelaine.

That’s to say nothing about the disappearance and reappearance of Waystation Bravo, or the various mad men such as Sir Rigel Rinkenbach and the traitorous Ivan Klankenvroot shoveling money and Blackwood into the furnaces of quite frankly insane projects that will likely never see the light of day.

And we, Crowndon, have made the most grievous mistakes of all. We allowed Admiral Roderick Beauchamp La Pierre to walk away in exile when we should have taken his head. He has singlehandedly done more to destabilize not only Crowndon’s economy, but the economies of Nor Easter and Monteddor as well. What the newspapers called a ‘prank’ or a ‘heist’ in the beginning has quickly proven to be much more. It was a declaration of war.

We have inherited a particularly horrible hand as we enter the 281st year of the Imperial Triumvirate, and if we keep along this path, we will not make it to the 282nd. The purpose of the Triumvirate after the discovery of Blackwood was the uniting of the known world into one glorious power, shared between three powerful cultures. Lately, however, the Crown has begun to wonder if the Triumvirate should be a singularity? Who knows? That is a question for the philosophers (and Generals) of our time to consider, not a lowly political mouthpiece such as myself.

We, both as a nation and as a member of the Triumvirate, have faced dire circumstances before, and I am sure we can face these down as well. But we three must face them as one, and in order to do that we must focus our efforts on those problems that present the most direct threat.

As of this day, the eighth day of First Month of the 281st year of the Triumvirate, the Crown is recalling all military forces and fleets, excepting those stationed in the Colonies. And with this combined force, we will break the siege of the Monteddorian capital by Alejandro Julianos and Yolanda De Santana. Blackwood will once again flow north, and our cities and forges will be re-ignited. And I, the Honorable Sir Alaric Wolstenholme McAndrew V, will be right here, to ensure that the citizens of Crowndon, and everywhere else, receive the information that matters most.

Happy New Year!

Blackwood Gazette #83- Imperial Edict for the 281st Year of the Triumvirate

Blackwood Gazette #81: Government Projects Drawing Criticism in Wake of Blackwood Shortage

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by Chester Seaton, News

18/12- With northern territories in one of the wealthiest, most developed Empires in the world going dark with no way to contact them this winter, critics have turned their eye to several projects associated with Crowndonian interests.

This year, Crowndon has announced two high profile, very expensive, and some would say frivolous projects: the first being the joint Imperial effort to build an ocean born super-prison, and the second being the development of a commercial fixed wing aircraft.

“Both of these imperatives are a slap in the face of the Crowndonian citizenry, in wake of recent events,” said renowned philanthropist and scholar Caridan Wellerby this week. “The cost of building and maintaining a prison like the one described is completely unjustifiable when weighed against the benefits to not only Crowndon, but the Triumvirate as a whole. And don’t even get me started on this ridiculous pissing match between Crowndon and Rinkenbach Research and Development. Let the man have his glory; it is just a drop in the bucket of his already numerous accolades. No one will notice.”

Advocates for both projects quickly issued a response.

“Mister Wellerby’s concerns are well intentioned, I’m sure,” claimed a statement by Pavil Lyons, Crowndon’s Secretary of Industrial Development and Oversight. “But they are unfounded. The prison project is being funded mostly by independent interests, as most everyone knows and complained about earlier this year. Any money spent by the Crown is limited to fees for services rendered. And since there is currently no prison, there are no services being rendered, and no coin being spent by the Crown.

“As for the Heisenberg Project…the fact that Rinkenbach is involved is the very reason why we shouldn’t just give it up. That man deserves a good humbling, I say, and Crowndon needs a victory in the industrial race with Nor Easter.”

Wellerby waved off the statement when asked to respond, and in his words one can almost visualize him shaking his head.

“This need for ‘victory’, and Crowndon’s insistence on trotting out ‘National Pride’ whenever the Heisenberg Project is mentioned reeks of desperation. It’s been stated so adamantly so many times, I doubt even Secretary Lyon’s believes it any more. There are people starving to death…if Crowndon wants to feel pride, it needs to find a way to reestablish contact to its northern territories and bring its people food and power.”

***

That super-prison in today’s post? It got built! Find out what happens to it in the full length novel, Where, No One Knows!

Blackwood Gazette #81: Government Projects Drawing Criticism in Wake of Blackwood Shortage

“Where, No One Knows” is LIVE!

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Whew! Hey everyone, just let me get rid of this dust…

I’ve been away for awhile, and while I wish I could say it was because I was toiling diligently away on my NaNo project, such wasn’t the case. I completely failed to manage my time between writing and working a job in retail, and as such was unable to complete the required 50,000 word goal.

Boo hoo. There. I’m over it. Moving on!

I am pleased to announce, however, another small victory. The other novel I’ve been chipping away at for the last couple of years is now available to purchase through Createspace and Amazon.

Right now, it’s only available in paperback, but a Kindle version is incoming once I fix some of the formatting issues that came with converting the files from Createspace.

So, go on! If you’re looking for a light-hearted, pulpy adventure to curl up with this holiday, go check it out. And if you do, let me hear what you thought and if you have any suggestions to help improve future projects, let me know. I’m always open to constructive criticism.

Book cover, concept art

“The Blackwood Empire is facing a bit of an energy crisis. Everything runs on steam, and the fuel for the fires, an alchemical substance called Blackwood, is running out. Only the brilliant scientist, Sir Rigel Rinkenbach, knows the secret, and he’s gone missing!

He’s been taken to Where, No One Knows, a massive prison ship that patrols the Imperial seas. There’s only one way onto Where, No One Knows, and only one way out. It’s a delicate job requiring finesse, and in the Blackwood Empire, cutthroats are a dime a dozen. Pixie Sinclaire, former agent provocateur, outclasses them all.

Pixie and Rigel have a rocky past, but the flame persists. When the NorEastern Nations hire her to infiltrate the impenetrable floating fortress, Pixie takes it as a challenge and opportunity to set things right.

Once on the ship, things quickly go south. Pixie must deal with a jail break led by a charismatic political prisoner hoping to use Rigel in the creation of an independent nation state, a pair of air pirates looking for revenge on Rigel, and others who stand to lose everything should the secret of Blackwood ever reach Imperial shores.

Oh, and did we mention the nine foot tall death machines roaming the ship? Will the world know the secret of Blackwood? Or will it be lost to the waves forever?”

“Where, No One Knows” is LIVE!