by Hunter O’Leary, Business

8/7- Production at Klankenvroot Industries has ground to a halt today after more than two-thirds of the work force walked out of the factory where Ivan Klankenvroot’s prototype for a commercial fixed wing air craft is being built. The workers cite tyrannical working conditions and lack of payment for their labor as primary factors.

“We haven’t been paid for two weeks,” said Upton Monroe, a floor worker acting as spokesperson for the workers on strike. “They told us to knuckle up, to think about our national pride. And we did at first. National pride is good and all, but I can’t feed my kids with it. You can ask them yourself, they were working down in the assembly lines.”

Analysts say that the process of melting down and recirculating hundreds of thousands of pounds of the nation’s gold has led to the company’s failure to pay its employees.

“We haven’t paid them quite simply because we are unable to,” said a representative for Klankenvroot. “Rest assured, however, that we are carefully tracking the hours of each and every worker, and they will be reimbursed accordingly once the financials are in order. None of this matters of course, if Rinkenbach gets his bird in the air before us. So it’s in their best interest to get back to work.”

“Don’t make me laugh,” Monroe said, when presented with the representative’s statement. “Those numbers types make a living by finding ways to cut costs. And those costs usually come out of the employee’s paycheck. Even if they meant what they are saying, you can’t honestly expect me to entrust my family’s livelihood to their record keeping. Would you?”

It is rumored that Klankenvroot is looking for ways to get the workers back in line. If he cannot, it is believed that he may start searching for new workers.