Blackwood Gazette #173- Release of Rinkenbach R&D’s Newest Clockwork Butler an “Unmitigated Disaster”

By Ada Herschel, Science and Technology

6/8- Despite the disappearance of its CEO and seizure by the Nor Eastern government after the Industry and Innovation Conference nearly two months ago, Rinkenbach R&D released its next generation Clockwork Butler earlier this week. So far, the reception has been lukewarm, at best.

Where the last generation Butler had the wealthy of Triumvirate society sending out their servants in droves to place orders for a machine that would soon replace many of them, the newest model only garnered the attention of an estimated three hundred buyers, Triumvirate wide. That means, out of three Empires that span nearly thirty percent of the world’s landmass, only three hundred came out to pay.

“It’s an unmitigated disaster,” said Elsa Deveraux, Rinkenbach R&D’s CFO. “Probably the biggest launch failure not just in Rinkenbach’s history, but the history of the Triumvirate.”

Not helping matters are early product reviews from those few customers seeking to replace their last generation butlers.

“I’d hoped for something…more,” said one wealthy businessman who received his butler yesterday afternoon. “Indeed, I’d hoped that the rumors about only scant improvements were false, but this new machine only has a few more features than the old butler, and one of them, the voice synthesizer, has sent my cat hiding in the closet and refusing to come out.”

Even worse, it would seem that the new Butler is experiencing some technical issues.

“I ordered it to pour me some coffee,” said Barbara, in Walsh. “It did so without a problem. But when I told it to scrub the latrine, it told me ‘no’, poured another cup of coffee, and attempted to drink it. Luckily the only damage it did was to its voice box. At least I don’t have to listen to its horrific attempts to hum anymore.”

Rinkenbach R&D claims that it is looking into these matters, and has offered an extended warranty to all early adopters at the discounted price of ten per cent of the unit’s retail value.

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Blackwood Gazette #173- Release of Rinkenbach R&D’s Newest Clockwork Butler an “Unmitigated Disaster”

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