Blackwood Gazette #164- Seylene Plamondon Calls Pierre Fordeau’s Memoir A Fabrication; Threatens to Use Bones for Furnishings

Alex Grosset, Arts and Entertainment and Hamlin Dafoe, Field Reporter

23/7- In the short time since its release, Pierre Fordeau’s memoir “Impossible Hearts in Forgotten Lands” has captured the imaginations (and coin purses) of readers all across the Triumvirate. But at least one reader, who also happens to be a major figure within the story itself, is anything but happy.

“I don’t know why everyone is calling this a memoir,” said Seylene Plamondon, the dread pirate Queen of the Pyrossi skies who commands a fleet of one hundred air ships. “Everything in it is a complete fabrication. Especially the bits about me and our so called torrid affair.

“Fordeau was indeed aboard my ship. But only because we sacked the ship he’d been traveling on previously. We killed its crew and bound its passengers, only taking Fordeau because of his renown. I figured he’d pull a hefty ransom.

“And he was a chore of a prisoner, let me tell you. We found him in the sick bay. He had a nasty case of the squirts. Erupting from both ends he was, the entire time he was our guest. We never got the ransom, because he was stinking up the place so bad we just dropped him off at the next port.”

This account begs the question: why didn’t Plamondon just kill Fordeau, rather than putting up with him all the way to Pyros? Given the stories about her, she’s never had any compunctions about slaughtering people who prove to be a burden to her, a number which includes her father, two husbands and a daughter.

“I…can’t say that I remember,” Plamondon said. I started to press the issue, but Plamondon’s hand resting so closely to her saber dissuaded further inquiry. “All I can say is that it isn’t a mistake I would make again.”

Will Captain Plamondon be seeking legal action against Fordeau?

“Look at me, boy,” Plamondon said, the corner of her mouth pulling back into a thin smile filled with harmful intent. “What do you see? You see a pirate, because that’s what I am. We don’t do ‘legal’, and I’ve never been one to hide behind truces or the rules of Libertine’s Roost. One of the last of the true Crimson Storm Clouds, I am, who took on the Crowndon Air Corps and won. I don’t want Fordeau’s money, or for him to recant. If I ever see Fordeau again, I’ll have his spine as a coat rack and his skull for a stein.”

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Blackwood Gazette #164- Seylene Plamondon Calls Pierre Fordeau’s Memoir A Fabrication; Threatens to Use Bones for Furnishings

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