By Basilio Mura, Nor Eastern Correspondent
12/8- A fist fight broke out between two people in a small port on the east coast of Sarnwain earlier this week. Normally, a fist fight between two drunkards wouldn’t be a news worthy item, but the alleged identity of the participants makes it so.
Witnesses to the event say that an already inebriated Captain La Pierre entered the tavern at around 2200 hours. He proceeded to order three pints of house grog, four shots of whiskey, and a Thankai ox cheese and pulled pork crisp sampler. As he was downing the last of his ale, another patron approached him.
This second patron, described as “a woman, around six feet tall with a metal arm and only half a face”, pulled La Pierre from his bar stool and began hurling slurred expletives at him.
“The Captain, he got up and looked at the woman with this look on his face like he didn’t know what was going on,” said one witness to the event, a local fisherman. “Then recognition came over his face, and he charged at her.”
La Pierre allegedly tried to push the woman aside, who patrons believe to be the pirate hunter Johanna McKilroy. McKilroy grabbed La Pierre around the waist and pulled him down, sending him crashing into a nearby table.
“The two of them started going at it like a pair of nunakttan howler-treevils after mating,” said the tavern owner. “Punching, biting, kicking and trying to gouge out one another’s eyes. Everyone in the bar was pushed up against the wall, afraid to get in their way. Half my glasses were shattered, they took out most of the shelves behind the bar, and eventually the two of them went through the tavern’s back wall.”
The fight continued outside, where residents of the village say the crews of the Pernicious Platitude and Dismissive Smile had already started tearing each other apart on the docks.
“I’ll never forget the sight of it,” said another witness. “These two drunken maniacs slugging it out along the dock while their crew men dueled around them, all silhouetted against the full moon hanging over the ocean.”
By the end of the brawl, witnesses say the two captains were both on their knees, covered in blood and booze, swinging ineffectively at each other in their exhaustion.
“The whole thing just kind of fizzled out,” said the tavern owner. “Even the crews stopped fighting each other to stop and watch the captains as they tried to throw their fists at each other, only to miss half the time.”
The brawl ended when someone announced that the Thankai army was on its way. The crews of both airships retrieved their respective captains and flew off in separate directions.
As he was being taken away, La Pierre is said to have shouted, “One month, we finish this. In the skies over where we first met!”
McKilroy was heard to reply, ”I’ll be looking forward to it, you Northern bastard!”
It is believed that the location where they first met is the Crowndon Academy of Aeronautical Warfare, which both attended during their time in the Air Corps. As such, the Crowndon Air Corps is already preparing for their arrival.
“It’s high time these two idiots are taken down,” said Admiral Winston Johannes said. “Thanks to their penchant for drunken theatrics, we now know where they’ll both be and when.”