By Chester Seaton, News
5/6-Relief crews helping to re-establish law and order in the Northern stretches of Crowndon have reported that the citizenry of Nostholm have constructed a statue of the exiled Admiral turned air pirate Roderick Beauchamp La Pierre out of scrap wood and egg crates. The Crowndon military calls the statue’s existence “Disturbing.”
“I can’t help but feel that it’s an insult,” said Conrad Bluveir, an aid worker from Rommsbach. “Both to the Empire and us. When it started to go up, we’d hoped it was an effigy, being as it’s made out of wood. We kept waiting for them to set fire to the thing, but they never did.”
When aid workers asked the village alderman when they were going to “torch the malevolent terror of the Northern skies,” the alderman laughed.
“Tis not an effigy!” the alderman told us. “Tis a tribute, to our hero and savior! While Crowndon was busy doing whatever it does, building aero-planes and supplanting Monteddorian businessmen, we was up here starving, and La Pierre was the only one to do anything about it.”
When told that the supplies La Pierre allegedly dropped on Advent’s Eve were supplies stolen from ships bringing aid to them in the first place, the alderman scoffed.
“Lies! Damned lies and propaganda! Those crates had goose, and apples! You really expect me to believe Crowndon would give us goose and apples for Advent? I think not!”
Nostholm isn’t the only northern village building tributes to La Pierre, either. The people of Alexander’s Crossing are said to construct dolls of straw and sack cloth in the image of La Pierre, and hang them from the eaves of their homes, and in the trees of the town square.
“It’s disturbing as hell,” said one Crowndonian soldier stationed in the town. “They hang those creepy dolls and tell tales of how La Pierre lives in the woods, protecting the town and playing tricks on the Outsiders. Us, in other words. Those tricks being tainted meat in our provisions and buckets of water over our barracks doors. That isn’t La Pierre, though. It’s just these backwoods miscreants we’re meant to be helping.”
The Crowndon military says they have no plans for reprimands against the villages, as that would likely serve to drive a wedge further between the people and government workers. They are, however, continually assessing the situation for what they call ‘dissident tendencies.”