By Alex Grosset, Arts and Entertainment

30/6- Yolanda de Santana and Armin Chevelle captured the citizenry’s imaginations two months ago when they were married, then promptly divorced, setting a new world record for shortest marriage. This was achieved via a loop-hole in current laws.

Well, it would seem Armin Chevelle wasn’t paying as much attention to the loop holes as his bride, because de Santana just took Chevelle for everything he’s worth.

“Mister Chevelle is reasonably distraught,” a representative said. “Everything his grandfather struggled to achieve has been taken from him by someone he trusted. He was only allowed to keep what was in is pockets, which amounted to a broken tin pocket watch, a groat, and half the carapace of a small insect. Which, it suddenly occurs to me, isn’t enough to pay me for my services, so…good day.”

Yolanda de Santana was unavailable for comment, but her father is said to be over the moon with pride.

“She’s definitely a root from this old tree,” Marco de Santana is quoted as saying in the Monteddorian Herald. “All that vapid socialite crap was a ruse. She cut herself off from my fortune two years ago, determined to steal her own, just like her old man. Of course, if she is just like me, I need to see to some new security measures. Excuse me.”