Blackwood Gazette #16: Church of Crowndon Worried about Rash of Recreational Weddings/Divorces

29/5-In response to the media fervor over the wedding and immediate divorce between Yolanda De Santana and Armin Chevelle last month, the Imperial Church of Crowndon has issued a statement decrying the practice, and others like it in recent years.

“This is a distressing trend,” said the church’s First Primarch. “It erodes the rapidly thinning traditions of our society by playing them as a farce. Younger generations see this and they start asking questions we aren’t prepared to answer. That can not happen!”

Armin Chevelle’s representatives shot back, issuing a statement almost immediately after.

“If they’re so worried about their traditions, perhaps it’s because their so called foundations aren’t very solid to begin with,” the statement read. “The world is changing faster than their rhetoric can keep up, and it scares them. Besides, why the hell should we worry about the opinions of a church half a world away, that we don’t subscribe to? It has no foothold in Nor Easter, and never did. The First Primarch can lick Armin Chevelle’s boots. It wouldn’t be the first time, and we have the film to prove it.”

Yolanda De Santana commented as well.

“I don’t get it. Why are people so preoccupied with what other people do? Mind your own damn business! Live and let live. All we did was have a bit of fun. Nobody got hurt. Just think of it as a really expensive party with a fancy cake.”

On a side note, the footage of the Chevelle/De Santana wedding is expected to hit kinetic viewers next month, divided into fifteen separate thirty second installments, and is reported to have a ten piece viewing fee, as opposed to the typical five. Fans of De Santana and Chevelle are said to already be buying tickets.

“I hear it is completely debauched,” one such fan said, outside of a popular brothel in Oeil de Fleur’s red-light district, one block over from the Imperial Palace. “I can’t wait.”

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Blackwood Gazette #16: Church of Crowndon Worried about Rash of Recreational Weddings/Divorces

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